I recently returned to the town where I started my life over 30 years ago. I came to be with a dear friend who had just lost the love of her life. I came to pray for her and to pay my respects. She is stepping into a life she never wanted with no idea how to continue. Driving the same streets that I drove on all those years ago, I remember feeling something similar.
30 years ago, I had to make a decision for myself and my children. Suffice it to say, we could not stay where we were. I needed to take my children to live someplace where they could have a safe, happy environment to live. It was a scary decision. I didn't want to make it, but was forced to. I had no idea how to continue. For a long time, I just put one foot in front of the other and immersed myself in my children and their lives. I don't know how long it took for me to move from merely "existing" to "living." When you are in a "place" in your life that is so far from where you used to be, and you know you can't "go back," it takes everything you have to just move forward.
Little by little, as time passed, I began to "open the door" and look out at what had become my new life. I got a job and went to work and learned new skills. I met someone at work I became friends with. She invited me to go to church with her. I took the children to the park every weekend and let them play to their heart's content. We were growing into our new lives. It took a long time, but one day I realized I had begun to "live" again.
Time keeps passing whether we want it to or not. We cannot change the things that happen in life. And for awhile, we might not be able to do more than just live one moment at a time.
Let me say, my story cannot begin to compare with what my friend is going through. Anyone who has ever lost someone close to them, who has lost the love of their life, is in one of the very hardest places in life. There is no comparison to the grief, the sadness, the feeling of loss they are going through. none. They are forced into a life they didn't choose, a life without their loved one.
To my friend, I am praying for you. As you move through this time of grief into a life you did not choose, I pray for grace to hold you closely. I pray that the good memories and the love will fill the empty places in your heart. I pray that I'll know how to help you, how to walk with you. And I pray, that one day, you will be able to see the sun shine again.
