Are You Trying to Have a Hallmark Family Moment with an "Addams" Family?

With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming soon, there will be a lot of family gatherings. With everyone gathering in one place to spend the holidays together, you may be envisioning the perfect "Hallmark" family get-together, with everyone happy and enjoying each other. The house will be decorated down to the smallest detail, including the holiday salt and pepper shakers. The food, of course, will be cooked perfectly and served on time, and your table will rival any image featured on the cover of the Southern Living magazine. At least that's what it looks like in your mind, right?

What happens, though, when your family is less "Hallmark" and more "Addams" family? (The Addams Family was a television show in the 1960's. Each member of the family was quirky and unusual. They did not look like anyone's idea of the "perfect" family, but they were a close family).

There is a lot of pressure and stress in trying to create the "perfect" family get-together. It's almost as if you think that if you "set the stage" and make all the arrangements and preparations, it "will be wonderful."

But that's not how real life is.

Did you grow up in a house where everyone "got along" with everyone else and life just went along smoothly? Probably not. Do you remember getting together with grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins for the holidays? Did the visit always go smoothly or are you just remembering it that way?

When you mix together parents who work full-time, kids who'd rather be doing their own thing, and families traveling distances for the holiday, the odds are that things may not go smoothly. And when you toss in the individual personalities and issues that are ongoing in family relationships, it could even be "lumpy."

The thing is, you don't have to have a "Hallmark" family to be able to enjoy your family get-togethers. You just have to make the most of what you have and be thankful that you have it.

Let this holiday get-together be more about "being together" and less about "the perfect family moment." If you like to cook and have time for it, then enjoy your preparations. If you work full-time, however, consider buying a cooked turkey and having it sliced. You could have everyone bring an item and you could set up a "Holiday Buffet" with paper plates, napkins and colorful plasticware. Remember it's about the "being together" NOT the display.

Just a note about the people you may know who may not have family in the area to spend the holidays with. Invite them to your gathering. It will be a blessing to you both!

This year, make the decision to make the most of your holiday family get-togethers. Remember to "be in the moment" and make memories. It's not about the perfect family at the beautifully set table with the perfect menu, it's about the real people gathered together. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so make the most of today... even if your family is more "Addams" than "Hallmark."