What to Do When Your "Happily Ever After" Isn't

What do you do when your "happily ever after" doesn't turn out that way?

We grew up reading the fairytales and watching the Disney movies. There's the whole "prince" and "happily ever after" thing in each story. Sure, sometimes there's a wicked witch or an evil stepsister, but the story always turns out wonderfully, in the end.

The thing about those stories, is that they're not real life. Real life can be messy. Sometimes, there seems to be more "wicked witches" than "happily ever afters."

I think we really want to believe in the fairytale, in happy endings, and when things don't turn out the same as in the story we've written for ourselves, it can really get in the way of a true happy ending.

For those of us who have had a bad relationship experience in our past, we may need to examine the fairytale that might still be alive in us. If we don't, we may be in danger of repeating the story, much like the "Groundhog Day" movie. Are we still looking for the fairytale or the prince, the one who meets all of our needs and always tries to make us happy?

Relationships are made from real people with their own stories, coming together to join those stories and write a new one together. There simply are no "fairytale" people who live their lives completely for the other person's fulfillment, to ensure their happiness. (And if there were, we really wouldn't want that).

It is perfectly fine to look for someone who has the "good" qualities on our "list." We just have to be careful not to "write them" into our fairytale. Even if they really were a prince or princess, they will not always act in a "fairytale" way. Sometimes people act more like "wicked witches" than "princes or princesses." (We have only to look in a mirror on some days to see it in ourselves, right?)

So what do we do when our "happily ever after" wasn't?

The first thing we need to do is to appreciate and love who we are. (If we cannot do that, how can we expect anyone else to?) The God who created all things, made each of us. (See Psalm 139:14).  He loves us and made each of us unique with our own "good" qualities and gifts. We are simply amazing! He also has good plans for us. (See Jeremiah 29:11). You see, when we truly love and appreciate who we are, there is no end to the possibilities and plans for our future!

The second thing we need to do is to "rewrite" the ending. "How can I do that?" you ask, "the relationship is already over." Once you figure out that the "ending" is really the "beginning," you can write your new ending according to how you want your story to go. The relationship may be over, but your new life is just beginning. What would you like to do? How do you want your story to go? It is your chance, to be your own author, to write a new story.

"Happily Ever After" isn't just a phrase at the end of a fairytale, it can be how you choose to live your life, going forward. Life isn't a fairytale, but it is "your" story. There may be wicked witches, evil family members and trolls, but there could also be "fairy godmother-type" people who love you and are a blessing to you. How you choose to live your story is up to you.

How will you write your "happily ever after?" Make it an amazing, interesting journey. Fill it with people and things you love. Love yourself and really "live" your story, starting today!

...and she lived happily ever after!