The Scenic Route

I don't know about you, but I'm a planner. If I'm going on a trip, I make a list and check off the items as I complete them. If I'm going to be traveling by car, I check which route would be the best to travel. Even if I'm just going someplace in town, I'll check the maps to make sure I'm going the right way. If I am in town, I want the shortest route possible, because I'm probably trying to get someplace on time. If I'm going on a road trip, however, I may choose a longer route to see other places along the way.

The other day, it occurred to me that I tend to live my life the same way. I plan things way ahead of time so there are no "surprises" along the way. If I have a plan, I know what to expect, right? Maybe planning ahead helps me to feel that I have some control over the way things happen in my life. Maybe if I'm "always prepared," I can avoid the stress of sudden changes because "I have a plan for that."

The only trouble with that, is that life rarely "goes as planned" and if I'm always following "the plan," won't that be boring?

I've notice something else. God prefers the scenic route.

When I'm all about getting from "Point A to Point B," He's all about what happens BETWEEN "Point A and Point B."

All this time I've been so busy planning when He's had a plan for me since before I was born. In Psalm 139:16, it says "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (NLT)  Not only that, but He has GOOD plans for me! (Jeremiah 29:11)

So, why I am so busy trying to plan every little detail?

The thing is, I LOVE road trips and the scenic route!!! I love seeing new places and all the interesting things along the way. I love going through the little towns with the "mom and pop" stores. I love seeing the different types of trees and flowers as I go from place to place. I love meeting the people in the different places, too.

Just maybe...God already knows that. Maybe He's trying to tell me to leave the planning to Him.

It's OK to have a plan and to plan for things. Trying to have a plan for everything, though, means that I might miss some really wonderful things along the way.

Yes, there might be some surprises and changes, but maybe the plan is for me to travel through them. Maybe there are valuable lessons to be learned that I wouldn't know if I took the shortest route, or even a longer route around them.

Oh, I'll probably still have a plan for a lot of things, but I think I'm going to leave most of the planning up to my Travel Agent (since He already has a plan). Wherever it takes me, I'm going to do my best to enjoy the Scenic Route!

Act Your Age?

Have you ever heard someone say "Act your age!"? Now I ask you, how can anyone act their age? It's the first time they are that age. They've never been that age before. There are no manuals or guides telling you how to act at any particular age. There are, however, countless people with opinions of how one should act, dress, or live, at every age. I'm not sure where they get their information from or how they became the "Age Sage," but they sure seem to know how everyone else should live.

For example, growing up I would overhear things like "She should cut her hair. At her age, she shouldn't have long hair." Or something like, "Is she trying to look younger? She's too old to wear that outfit!" I'm quite sure that there are no rules for either. And how would you know the cutoff dates, anyway?

This year, I've decided to start acting my age. The only problem is that I don't know which age to act. Should I act my chronological age? Should I act my creative age? (I feel like I'm just getting started so that would be closer to 6 years old.) Should I act my fun age? (It would be hard to choose just one, as I have had many fun ages!) Should I act my "just graduated high school with the whole world ahead of me" age? (That was a good one, too!) I have so many ages to choose from and since I have so many...I can choose a different age for each day!

I have a very good friend that lives her life to the fullest. She has, and continues to be, an inspiration to me and to many others. She is a joy to be around! Several years ago, my friend started referring to Tuesdays as Tutu Tuesdays. On the day she retired, someone gave her a tutu and she wore it! What fun! (When I grow up, I want to be just like her!)

Yes, I know that there are times in life to be serious and to think as our "chronological age" should think, but for all of the rest of the times, we should be free to think and act whatever age we feel like!

Life was meant to be LIVED, so I'm going to do just that!

How about you? What age do you want to act today? Pick one and go have fun!

Wait...I think I hear laughter at the playground. Gotta go, there's a swing with my name on it!

How Long Would You Hold Onto a Hurt? 100 Years? Maybe It's Time to Forgive.

I read an article, recently, about Olivia de Havilland's relationship with her sister, Joan Fontaine. From the information in the article, it would seem that the sisters were frequently at odds with each other to the point of going many years without speaking with each other, and, in fact, had been at odds since childhood. Each side had their own version of the hurts the other had caused and felt they were justified in their hurt. The recent article was from an interview with Ms. de Havilland, who turned 100 years old earlier this year. Ms. de Havilland mentioned an estrangement between them that did not change in the last years of her sister's life. Ms. Fontaine, who was 1 year younger than her sister, passed away in 2013 at 96 years old.

Let the sadness of this sink in for a moment. If these sisters were truly at odds with each other from childhood, their hurts impacted their lives for almost 90 years. Imagine all that was lost or all that could have been gained had there been a true reconciliation and forgiveness from each, for each. Imagine the impact this had on their families' lives. Each sister probably had what they thought were valid reasons to hold onto their hurts and not to extend forgiveness.

Life hurts. Whether the hurt comes from a loved one, a friend or a stranger, it is no less a hurt. Some hurts are so big, we don't know how we can move beyond it. We can't even think about, and won't even think about, forgiving. "They don't deserve it and never will!" is the thinking that often keeps us chained to the hurt.

The biggest problem with holding onto a hurt, is that we are the ones who are mostly likely to be damaged by it. The longer we hold onto it, the more of "a hold" it has on our lives. It begins to affect our outlook, our everyday life, our mental health, and our physical health.

Another big problem with holding onto a hurt is that it also begins to affect our loved ones' lives. There are families so estranged by the hurt between two family members, that all contact is lost among the family members. In many cases, no one really knows what the estrangement is about. In some cases, the reason is remembered and repeated throughout the generations, lest the reason "to hold the hurt" is forgotten.

Maybe it's time to forgive.

When we forgive someone else for hurting us, we are not saying we are "ok with" or accepting of what they did. We are also not saying that we'll act like it never happened. A true hurt is never really forgotten, but true forgiveness will enable the person to move beyond the hurt and break free of those chains holding them to the hurt.

Extending forgiveness is one of the hardest things there is to do in life. In many situations, we can't do it on our own. There is a line from Matthew West's song, Forgiveness, that says "It's the opposite of how you feel, when the pain they caused is just too real, it takes everything you have just to say the word...Forgiveness." He goes on to say that when you forgive "It'll clear the bitterness away, it can even set a prisoner free; There is no end to what it's power can do. So, let it go and be amazed, by what you see through the eyes of grace, the prisoner that it really frees, is you."

Holding onto a hurt keeps you a prisoner. Forgiveness sets you free.

Do you want to be free? Are you having a hard time forgiving? Tell Jesus about it. Ask him to help you forgive. He will give you the grace to do what seems to be impossible.

How long will you hold onto your hurt? How long will it keep you from all that could be in your life? I'm not sure that the de Havilland sisters intended to hold onto their hurts for almost 90 years, but they did. So much time lost.

If you'd like to hear the incredible story behind Matthew West's song, Forgiveness, I've provided a link, here. It's a story about someone who had every right to hold onto their hurt and did, for a period of time, but they chose to forgive.

Don't let a hurt keep you prisoner one day longer than it already has.

Forgive. Be set free.

Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts!

There is a fun ride in Disney World® (and in Disneyland®) called the Haunted Mansion. You are in a slow moving ridecar and meander through the Haunted Mansion. Toward the end of the ride, you hear the narrator tell you to "Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts" and you see an image of three ghosts hitchhiking. You pass a mirror in the final part of the ride and you see yourself and one of the "ghosts" appearing to be riding with you. It's all in fun and you know it's not real.

Thinking about that ride and the "hitchhiking ghosts" made me think about real-life ghosts. No, I'm not talking about spirits or ghosts from "another world," I'm talking about ghosts from our past. The ghosts of regret, past mistakes, past pain or even bad memories. These are the real-life ghosts we need to beware of.

You see, we all have things in our lives that can pop up at any point and try to "hitchhike" along while we try to live our lives. Sometimes we don't even know that we've allowed them to come along for the ride. We may even have thought we were "finished" with whatever has reappeared and are surprised to find that it's back on our minds, weighing us down.

It is difficult to live our everyday lives while carrying the "ghosts" of yesterday.  And we shouldn't.

We can learn from past regrets or mistakes and change things, going forward, and we can seek help for those things in our past that caused pain to help us know how to live, going forward.

Today and tomorrow are new days. In order to make the most of them, we need to truly live.

Life is an amazing ride, live it to the fullest....and beware of those "hitchhiking ghosts!"

What's Your Wattage?

Shopping for lightbulbs, nowadays, can be a confusing experience. They come in all shapes, sizes, and wattages. There are spiral CFL ones for lamps, yellow bug lights for front porches, long flourescent ones for over kitchen sinks, and on and on. You also have to know the wattage that you need for the fixture. (Why do there have to be so many different kinds? Did Thomas Edison know it would get this complicated?) It is important, though, to have just the right bulb with just the right wattage to get just the right amount of light.

We are a lot like lightbulbs. We come in all shapes and sizes, too, but our wattages can vary from day to day or from moment to moment. Some days we really "shine brightly" and other days it's like someone hit the "dimmer switch." Sometimes, we can even be like one of those "3-way" bulbs, that with a turn of the switch we choose to be brighter or dimmer based on the situation or who we are talking with.

Did you ever walk into a dark room and turn on a lamp? Didn't it fill the room with a nice glow? Have you ever met someone like that? Someone that just seemed to glow from within, that their smile just brightened up the room? Have you also met someone for whom "the light within seemed to have gone out?"

Our "light" is important. To our families, to others, and to ourselves.

We have the ability to shine a light in the lives of others and in our own lives, but we need to be aware of our wattage. Some situations require only a soft glow. You wouldn't want to use a 100 watt bulb in a small, study area, would you? Similarly, a friend might just need only the soft glow of friendship during a difficult time. There are times, though, when the glare of a spotlight might be needed, especially if it's an area of your life you need to work on.

The most important thing to know about your wattage is that you need to be "plugged in." Without power, it won't matter how many watts a lightbulb has, it won't shine.

There are many verses in the Bible about light. The two below, I believe, really speak to how we can shine:
John 8:12 - When Jesus spoke, again, to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
Matthew 5:14 - You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
If we have "the light of life" within us, we can shine like a town built on a hill.

You see, it is up to each one of us how we choose to shine. You just might be the light that makes a difference in someone else's life. Your light can encourage others to shine.

How do you shine today? What's your wattage?

Stepping Into the Unknown....

I recently returned to the town where I started my life over 30 years ago. I came to be with a dear friend who had just lost the love of her life. I came to pray for her and to pay my respects. She is stepping into a life she never wanted with no idea how to continue. Driving the same streets that I drove on all those years ago, I remember feeling something similar.

30 years ago, I had to make a decision for myself and my children. Suffice it to say, we could not stay where we were. I needed to take my children to live someplace where they could have a safe, happy environment to live. It was a scary decision. I didn't want to make it, but was forced to. I had no idea how to continue. For a long time, I just put one foot in front of the other and immersed myself in my children and their lives. I don't know how long it took for me to move from merely "existing" to "living." When you are in a "place" in your life that is so far from where you used to be, and you know you can't "go back," it takes everything you have to just move forward.

Little by little, as time passed, I began to "open the door" and look out at what had become my new life. I got a job and went to work and learned new skills. I met someone at work I became friends with. She invited me to go to church with her. I took the children to the park every weekend and let them play to their heart's content. We were growing into our new lives. It took a long time, but one day I realized I had begun to "live" again.

Time keeps passing whether we want it to or not. We cannot change the things that happen in life. And for awhile, we might not be able to do more than just live one moment at a time.

Let me say, my story cannot begin to compare with what my friend is going through. Anyone who has ever lost someone close to them, who has lost the love of their life, is in one of the very hardest places in life. There is no comparison to the grief, the sadness, the feeling of loss they are going through. none. They are forced into a life they didn't choose, a life without their loved one.

To my friend, I am praying for you. As you move through this time of grief into a life you did not choose, I pray for grace to hold you closely. I pray that the good memories and the love will fill the empty places in your heart. I pray that I'll know how to help you, how to walk with you. And I pray, that one day, you will be able to see the sun shine again.

Did You Put on Your Sonscreen? What's Your SPF?

I was driving to work the other day and the radio DJ was talking about summer. He said now that summer was approaching, we needed to remember to put on our sunscreen if we were going to be out in the sun.

And just like that...it came to me...SONscreen. We need spiritual Sonscreen coverage everyday, and not just in the summer.

Growing up in South Florida, I know all about sunscreen and sunburns. When the sun is hot and high, you'd better be slathered up with the sunscreen or you'll be sorry later. What a lot of people don't realize though, is that you need to wear the sunscreen even if the sun isn't "hot and high." If the sky is overcast and you are going to be outside during the day, you still need the sunscreen. The UV rays are there, whether it's sunny or cloudy.

It's the same way with Sonscreen. We need His "coverage" everyday, regardless of the "weather." There's good and there's evil in this world and I'm sure you've seen both.  It's easier to protect yourself against things you can see, but it's not so easy to protect yourself against things you can't see. There's a lot that goes on in the spiritual realm "behind the scenes" that we can't see. It's a battle between good and evil. In 1 Peter: 5-8, it says, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour." The devil (and his representatives) are looking for ways to trip you up, to lead you down wrong pathways, and to try to ruin you.

Have you ever said or done something you wish you hadn't and then had it repeating in your mind over and over? Even after you tried to make amends with the person or seek forgiveness? You feel badly or guilty every time the thought comes back. That's not God reminding you. In God there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1). The devil would like nothing better than for you to feel guilty and will remind us of our failures to get us to focus on that instead of the goodness of God and His forgiveness.

What we really need to do is to put on the Sonscreen with the highest SPF (Spiritual Protection Factor).  In Ephesians 6:10-17, it talks about putting on the whole armor of God so that we can stand against the plans of the devil. In verse 16, it talks about taking up the "shield of faith" so that you can "quench the fiery darts of the wicked one." Now that's some serious SPF!

I don't know about you, but I'm going to try to remember to slather my Sonscreen daily. I want to be protected.

How about you? Are you covered? What's your SPF?